I'm actually updating my blog!

Well I can't believe it but I am actually sitting down in front of my computer and composing a post.

Since my last post in January I am indeed alive and very well, of course please don't think that it has all been a bed of roses. I told you that I had plans of going to a smaller department. That has now evolved and taken shape however, it is not with the original choice as previously planned. I had to change that plan simply because of the greedy nasty ex living in that county. It was truly a great choice and one that I feel was right on time. I will be starting as a patrolman on October 5th and I am very excited. I went yesterday to get my identification card and a number of other necessities needed to do the job that I absolutely love. Aza went with me to get my uniforms sized and ordered. Thanks to her a size 38 in the waist does not fit anymore so I had to get a 40!!!!!!!!! I am not happy with that but boy do I love her cooking! Speaking of Aza, wow what a woman and best friend. It has been quite a year, she has been right there beside me supporting me all the way. It's such a great feeling to have unconditional love, respect and support from somebody that asks for nothing in return. Let me explain and share just one thing.

On July 17th I was at work and received a message from a co worker to call my attorney. This was 11am on a Friday. I called and was told that my greedy ass ex-wifes attorney filed a motion that was signed by a Judge stating that I was to pay him 5 thousand dollars by noon or turn myself into jail to serve a term of 180 days. I of course threw a fit but had to quickly compose myself. I immediately called Aza who in turn went right to work (she works best under pressure.) Within 45 minutes she had 5 thousand dollars waiting for me to pay that unethical bastard. I was floored by her offer but not surprised. I told her I wanted to go by my bank to see if they would give me the money so I didn't have to burden her with all that. Amazingly even though the ex has systematically attempted to destroy my credit, my bank came through for me and I paid the bastard. Now, here's where it gets unethical. Not only did I have to pay him 5k, he put in the order that I was to pay her another 1 thousand a month on top of the 3 thousand she already gets because he said that I was almost 17 thousand dollars in arrears from back bridge the gap alimony that I failed to pay. I was livid as was Aza. I immediately called the depository and was told that I owed absolutely nothing and had a zero balance. I called my attorney and am still waiting on a court date. Needless to say the nasty ex didn't get a penny. She was also supposed to give me the car back in February, I still haven't received it. We filed a Motion for Contempt. Why should I have to comply and she doesn't?!

The alimony is suppose to end this month but they took it out of my check again, so I am praying that it ends by my next check. I am so sick and tired of this woman that I could just throw up. Oh, I forgot she conned another dumbass like me to buy her a new car. She is driving a brand new 2009, while her daughter I am sure is driving my 2007, which I am going to trade as soon as I get it. So as you can see after all that my girl has been right by my side.

Aza has really kept me busy playing golf. I can safely say that I probably played over 50 rounds of golf this year. I am shooting in the low 80's now on a consistent basis and Aza is shooting in the 90's. I am so proud of her, she practices so hard and really tries to improve every round we play. I'll tell you what I absolutely love about her. I will get off work and come home to find her decked out in her golf gear looking adorable telling me to get dressed it's time to play some golf. I love that!

I had to put my dog to sleep that came with the property I live on. I cried like a baby. I was just devastated but it was time, she was 16 years old and very sick. Aza is a animal lover as you know and found a beautiful Shepherd/Collie mix that was chained up in the back of a yard for 4+ months, we went to see him and I fell in love the minute I saw him. He has fit right into the family. He is house broken, great with the kitties and is very handsome. So you can just see how happy he is that he has a solid home and people that love him.

Here's Gunny...

As far as the current job goes I have really enjoyed my time at the courthouse and really it was the right thing to do at the time. I have made tremendous contacts. I golf with Judges, go shrimping with State Attorneys at another Judges house which I took care of for 10 days while he and his wife were at their house in North Carolina. I have made wonderful friends that I hate to leave but it's just not for me. I am good at what I do and what I do is police work not sit around on my expanding butt behind closed doors everyday.

So I was playing golf with Aza a few days ago and my phone rang. I saw it was the other agencies number. I answered it and it was the Sheriff calling asking me if I was ready to come to work! I of course said yes, when and where. I had to do another physical and drug screen to be updated. I was at the golf course day before yesterday with Aza and the phone rang again. This time it was the Sergeant in charge of Human Resources. He said, “Are you ready to start work on October 5th?” I was ecstatic and accepted the job without hesitation. So I will be on the street again doing what I love best with a drama free home life. All I have to worry about is when the next day off is and where Aza booked our next tee time!

I will keep you posted on the progress.

I'm Out and We'll Talk Later!!!!

I think I am going to live!

Wow has this a very stressful couple of weeks here in the big city!!! First, I want to thank each and every one of you for your kind words and support for my recent post. I do have an update and will share that with you.

After the shock wore off I did make an appointment with my doctor the next day. I walked in, sat down and presented him with my lab results. He listened to my concerns and promptly said, “If you should get a fever it would be in your best interest to immediately go to the emergency room!” Needless to say, that sat me straight up in the chair! I asked him a ton of questions that were all answered with the deadliest most fatal things you could think of, he was presenting worst case senerios. I of course was numb thinking I am dying with cancer, aids, leukemia and everything else under the sun. I was told that I needed to get another blood test done asap so we could compare the two and find out what direction to go in. So, I left knowing absolutely nothing but was even more scared than when I went in. Aza was waiting on me and I of course shared the visit with her. She was very comforting as usual, suggesting all along that it was probably a mild viral infection but, in my mind I was dying.

I had to work the next week and I will tell you that I was in no way myself. It showed in every aspect of my life. Poor Aza was doing everything that she could think of to make me laugh, keep me busy, or just take my mind off what was going on. She took me golfing, to the movies, rode the motorcycle all over and visited a few friends. It really did help so I am so grateful for her efforts. The day finally came which was last friday when I could break away to get my lab work done. I took off from work and flew out there as quickly as I could to get it done and over with. I was relieved that I at least went; which I can tell you was an acomplishment for me. I am the worlds worst when it comes to doctor visits. As mentioned in my pervious post, I can only attribute this to my parents. I took them each to their appointments when they were both diagnosed with terminal cancer, in both cases their illnesses started with low white blood cell counts. Of course I had to go through the weekend and all the way till Wednesday to finally get my report back. I called my doctors office and was told that I was going to live another day! My blood count went from 2.4 to 7.8 which was well above normal. I was ecstatic and called Aza pronto. She was so relieved and happy, she even threw in a laughing “I told ya so!”.

I am desperately trying to change my way of thinking in regards to the above. I learned that things aren't always as bad as they may appear. I will tell you that my aversion to doctors is not cured but I really would like to try. Aza has gotten me into something that I can tell you I would have never have even considered, Yoga! I love it!!! Ok guy's don't even think about laughing at me. If you haven't tried this, please try it. I was skeptical myself but after one 30 minute session that night I slept the best that I have slept in a long time. So, before you think I am a fruit cake try it!

I can tell you that I can only hope that each of you have somebody in your life that cares about you. I have the best support system that anyone could ask for. If it had not been for Aza, her dad and all of your prayers I question whether I would have even gone back. I did “man up” and thankfully it all worked out. Once again, thank you I really do appreciate all of your kind supportive thoughts and hope that if you should ever need anything you wouldn't hesitate to ask.

I'm Out And We''ll Talk Later!

A long overdue update and prayer request

I really can not believe it has been so long since I have actually posted something on my blog. So much has happened, I’ll try to keep it condensed. We’ll start at Christmas…

Christmas was an absolute blast with Aza and her dad. She got me all of the safety equipment needed for my motorcycle, which I thought was incredible. I have never felt so cared for in my long 48 years of living. I thought when I bought my bike that I would be a macho biker and not get or need a windshield. So for 7 years I was one macho mo fo- with one heck of a neck ache! Since I retired and only have my bike to ride things have changed a bit. I am not so macho anymore. Aza bought me a Memphis Shades windshield as well as the lowers. In all spending a cool $400.00 dollars. I was so appreciative. I now wonder how in the world I went without this important piece of equipment. I used to have neck issues while riding, that almost completely went away. I have almost no resistance at 70 and 75 miles per hour on the highway. What a relief, thanks to my girl. She also bought the worlds loudest motorcycle horn. This horn almost sounds like a darn train horn, it is amazing and a great addition for safety. So basically she absolutely hooked me up, which I so appreciate. She is the best!

That huge surprise I was talking about in my last post? Well, we had an unexpected visitor on Christmas Eve. We were sitting on the couch and I thought I heard footsteps climbing the stairs on my deck. I look up and who do I see?, the future ex! Yep, that's right, big bag of crazy herself showed up at my house with a card in her hand. I was dumb founded and without words. I got up to open the door and she handed me the card and walked off saying “Just thought you should have this”. I again just stood there in shock. What a set of nuts! This woman has bled me dry, tried to make me look like a piece of dog shit in court and is still trying to accomplish this feat. The card was basically written using my step grandson as a pawn telling me he cries for me every night. I was not happy because she knows how much I love this child. Anyway, her disgusting attempt to guilt me back into her life didn't work. What it boils down to is this, she didn’t get awarded permanent alimony along with every penny I’ve earned for the last 27 years so she’s pissed. She figured she could show up, kiss ass and have me on my knees begging for her back. Hahahaha! Not likely you nut job! I have absolutely no reason to go back to living under that type of stress. So see ya!

I felt so sorry for Aza, I got a frantic phone call from her on New Years Eve around 10:30pm. She wanted to know if I had any connections in a nearby county. The reason, her nephew was killed in a traffic crash- he was only 20 years old. Oh I felt so sorry for her but as always she was and has been a pillar of strength and brought the entire family through this incredibly difficult time. God Bless her, she‘s been through so much but still keeps her head on straight!

Aza and I decided back in December that for the New Year aside from our regular local games we wanted to play a different golf course once a month for 12 months. It has to be a course that neither of us has played and it has to be outside of our city. She started a photo album and will put together pictures of each game at each new course. We started our first course for January in Deland Florida. “Victoria Hills” was absolutely beautiful and so much fun! She shot a fantastic score for only playing the game for only 7 months. We had a great time after as well. I got to meet some of her friends that live in central Florida and we all had dinner. We haven't decided where our February game will be.

I think I mentioned I may process with a smaller surrounding department. I decided to turn the application in to start the process. They told me to go get my physical and blood work done, so I did only to get a very scary and unnerving result. They told me that my white blood count was very low and to follow up with my primary care doctor. I of course was mad as hell but really more freaked completely out. Thank God again for my girl she has been my source of calm. I do not do the doctor thing. I honestly have in my own mind a significant fear of getting results of blood work etc. I know this developed because of all that I went through with my parents. Every time I took them they came back with terminal conditions. I just can not seem to shake that experience. So after all that I am going to follow up tomorrow so please keep me in your prayers! I will let you know.

So I am sorry for not posting, I have just had a lot on my mind as well as a lot going on. I will most definitely try a bit harder to keep all of you posted. I still am waiting on the judge to sign off on my divorce. This has been since Oct 16th!! Geez are you kidding me!?

I'm Out And We'll Talk Later!

Merry Christmas To All My Fellow Bloggers!

I hope that all of you have a very Merry Christmas or whatever holiday you may celebrate.

It has been a very fast paced year filled with a ton of emotions, oddities, surprises (a HUGE one today!) and other life altering moments. The one thing that I can honestly say that hasn't changed is my love for my very best friend in the world Aza and her family. The other is the warm and caring thoughts that I have for each of you that I have come to know through my blog. I sincerely hope that this is a special Christmas and most all, a very prosperous New Year!

Here's a picture of the Christmas tree that Aza and I put up.





God Bless you all! I've got a surprising update coming after Christmas but for now, I'm Out And We'll Talk Later!

I can't believe it's already Thanksgiving!

Hey ya'll!!! I am sorry I haven't been able to post much, been really busy. I am still waiting on my divorce to become final it has been one heck of a slow process but I guess I am closer than before.

Aza and I have been super busy between the two households, she really is amazing taking care of both houses. We have been going to St. Augustine on the motorcycle the last few weekends. The weather has been great but unseasonably cold. We went down last weekend to see the pirate gathering. We hesitated about going because it looked like it was going to rain. We decided to go for it and of course it rained on us a little bit but not too bad. We had a great time as usual but I have to say the funniest thing that happened was a female pirate and several others decided to “siege” or take over one of the trolley's that carries people around on short tours. She jumped up on the trolley and when she did the wrap around skirt she had on went a little east to west and exposed her 60 year old cottage cheesy moon crater ass right there in front of everybody. I started stifling laughter and frantically flailing my arms to signal Aza to come look but she was way ahead of me with the camera getting a shot of a full moon up close. WOW, was it scary looking! We also have been hanging with a few guy's I work with that have bikes so we have been riding a lot. So much so that I have a major itch to buy a Harley Davidson. I have always wanted one but had always been told I couldn't get one. Well I got news for you I will have a Harley very soon. Not just now, it'll have to wait until I get all this divorce drama over with. Aza has gotten the same itch so she is looking for a bike as well. I knew she would get tired of riding “bitch”. She is very athletic so I think she will do just fine on a bike. I am not sure she is sold on a Harley but she did find a beautiful 2007 Low rider that she really likes so you never know.

Thanksgiving is of course a few days away and I'm going to have a house full; 10 at last count. Aza has the absolute biggest heart. She has decided that a few of our friends that have no spouses or family will join us for the big day. I think that is the sweetest thing and what a great way to make people happy on a day that might be very sad for them. After her mom died she and her dad had a number of holidays come and go that they celebrated together without anyone. She's made it clear that she doesn't want anyone we know going through that. That's my girl though always thinking of others beside herself.

So with that, I wish all of you a very happy Thanksgiving. I hope that those of you that need special prayers answered will have them answered! May God Bless All Of You!

I'm Out And We'll Talk Later!

A final farewell to J257...

Well the ride is over for me as a police officer. I've worked my final day with my department. It was a very emotional day for me that was compounded by court hearings with the bitch the day before that absolutely left me exhausted; that will definitely be my next post. I may not be able to respond to comments or post after Friday for a few days as I have to turn in all of my gear by Friday. Until I can get my own laptop I will be working off of Aza’s. So let me tell you how my last shift on the street went…

I had a special ceremony that was hosted by our Sheriff at 9am. It was very nice with 12 officers and supervisors attending as future retirees. The Sheriff was touched and commented that he could hire new recruits, dispatchers, civilian employees and other personnel but he could never replace 455 years of experience that was leaving his department. That made a very big impact on me and set things in perspective.

After the ceremony I had a whole host of signatures that was needed to complete a small portion of the exit report. I was able to obtain most of those signatures, but still some are needed and will be done today since I have to turn in all of my uniforms etc…

At 3pm my sub station had a party for me that at least 100 people showed up for. I was basically the brunt of a mini roast that went on and on. It was very touching to see people that I have trained over the years talk about me as if they were giving a eulogy. It was emotional as I spoke to my family, for who knows, maybe the last time? I sat and listened as they were talking of the things they were going to do when they got back to work. The people that they wanted to hunt down so they could put them in jail. I sat and reflected on all the fun that I had with each individual officer and just couldn’t believe that the ride was over.

Aza was of course there to capture all of the memories of my last day with photographs. I laughed, cried and felt completely separated at times from the people that I fought with and laid my life on the line with everyday. I found myself sitting there in complete disbelief that it was really almost over.

Aza was absolutely phenomenal in this entire final few days of life as I know it. She allowed me to break down when I needed to and get a little frustrated when I needed to. I was so appreciative that she has been there for me, but really I would never have expected anything else from her. I just don’t know what I would have done without her during such an emotional time.

After the party I went out and had dinner with Aza and her dad who also had been very supportive. She took me to get some Sushi which is without a doubt my favorite. I had a young community service officer come with us as well as another police officer who is a very dear friend of mine. We ate some awesome Sushi, told some lies and just relaxed for a few minutes.

After dinner I went out and handled a few calls at my leisure even telling the dispatcher that I didn’t feel like handling a particular call and to give me the other one that had just gone out. The zone got a kick out of that and was burning up my computer, phone and every other instrument they could use to get a hold of me.

The big finally for me was something that caused a breakdown of emotions. I sent out a voice dispatch at 0250 hrs which was 5 minutes early before I got off.

I said, “HQ, I don’t think I want to handle anymore calls. As a matter of fact, I think I am going to go ahead and just go home 5 minutes early! I’m out.”

Well of course that sent my computer and phone ringing off the hook. I was bombarded with messages on the computer. The dispatcher sent me a message telling me not to sign off yet. I sat there waiting until I heard the alert tone go off twice alerting officers to pay attention, something important was going to be broadcasted. The dispatcher gave and unbelievable farewell on behalf of their division. Once again, chills raced down my spine and I was flooded with a ton of emotions that I just couldn’t hold back. She said the following…


“All units in Zone 4, I have a very important announcement to make regarding J257, Officer ----------.

On behalf of the Communications Center and all of ------ employees, we want to thank you for all your hard work and dedication to the ---------- Sheriffs Office. In 26 years of service, your honesty, integrity, leadership, and excellence have been very well appreciated.

At 0255 hours on this day, June 26, 2008, you will go 10-82 for the last time as J257, #0000. You leave us with a lot of special memories and good times that will not be forgotten.

So from all of us to you, enjoy your retirement and the many wonderful years ahead. We’re going to miss you!

HQ is signing off now at 0255 hours. KJH224!!!”


It was my final farewell and tribute to my 27 years of service to my department and the city. It was my final day as J257. I will never be a police officer again for my city. I know that this does not define me as a man, but it did define 27 years of my life that God was so kind to let me survive. The sad part about leaving for me is that I would never have signed up to retire but the soon to be Ex begged me, so I did. I didn’t and don’t want to leave but I did what I thought was right at the time. Now, she is trying to take all that away from me.

I have a little message for her, “Screw You!!! You don’t control me anymore! I will move on and enjoy my life. In fact, I think I will take Aza and play some golf with my friends tomorrow!!! Yea that’s right and I’m leaving my phone in the car!!!”

I’m Out And We’ll Talk Later!

Happy Fathers Day...

This week I’m going to take a break from Silly Sunday in recognition of Father’s Day.

It has been 14 years since my father passed away at the age of 72. My Dad was a wonderful man, a great husband, and my best friend that was always there for me and my family. I have so many incredible memories of my Dad over the many years we were together that will last me a lifetime. I also have some not so good memories when my Dad whipped my ass for one thing or another, which I know I deserved. My Dad ruled with an iron thumb both in home life as well as his business life. My Dad gave me my first job at the age of 15. I worked in a large retail store with him. I eventually became the manager of a shoe store under his guidance until I turned 18 years old and moved into law enforcement. I was managed much more harshly than all of the other employees. I was expected to excel better than everybody else setting the example of perfection in the work place. I was called into his office so many times demanding to know why my department was down figure wise than the year before. I was told that if it was not corrected then obviously he made a mistake making me a manager. I stepped up to plate and motivated the other employees that worked for me until we pulled out the best months ever in the store history. So at a very young age I was put under pressure to perform, but it was a pressure that I would gladly except again just to say “I Love You” one more time.

My Dad had a rough last 5 years of his life as did our small family. I was an only child so the stress of making sure that as my folks aged I could take care of them grew as each year passed. My Dad decided that he wanted to drink a little bit after work and ride the bus home. So in 1985 while I was getting ready for work 2 police officers knocked on my door. I answered the door and was told that my Dad was hit by a car as he crossed the expressway. I learned that he was Life Flighted to a level 1 Trauma Center in very critical condition. I was escorted to the hospital by my co-workers where I sat for 14 hours not knowing if my Dad was dead or alive. My mother arrived in complete shock. The doctor finally came out telling us that he was alive, but things were going to be different. The accident left him with a severed left leg and a right arm that over time would require 18 surgeries. I had the pleasure of telling him that life as he knew it for the last 63 years would be very different. When I told him that his leg had been amputated he looked at me and said, and I quote “Well, I have had it for 63 years so I can live with out it. I’ll be fine.” I could only stand there in awe of this man that created me and just agree. I knew that he would be fine and he was. He was released a week later and sent home.

For the next several months I came over every morning to help him go to the potty and clean him. My thought process was that I would do anything for him because he would give his life for me. I took care of him until he was capable of going to the bathroom on his own. It was actually the most rewarding time of my life.

So after battling the loss of a leg, 18 surgeries on his arm and staff infection that almost took his life, he was diagnosed with cancer of the bladder. Once again I had to be strong for all involved. Cancer takes no prisoners and my Dad was no exception. He passed away on January 21st 1994, just one year after being diagnosed. I lost my best friend that day, but I got a guardian angel that will look out for me for the rest of my life. I miss my Dad but I know he is with me everyday.

I have been blessed with another gentleman in my life that I call Dad. Aza’s Dad has been a very important part of my life. He is always available to listen to me when I need to talk or just vent. His wise words are always so comforting in the most difficult of times. I have a deep respect for him and enjoy spending time with him because of his vast knowledge of just life in general. So for my second Dad I‘d like to say, “Happy Fathers Day and thank you for bringing so much joy to my life! Most of all, thank you for having a daughter that has the same gentle spirit of love that you do.” I am a lucky man to have had 2 Dads in my life.

I’m Out And We’ll Talk Later!

Just a thought

Sometimes we get so busy in our daily lives that we don’t take the time to look around and see when people that we know are going through trials and tribulations. I have certainly been going through some of that myself as you know, but so has everybody else. When we go through these times we often feel like know one else is going through what we are and even if they’ve been there or are there, it was/is no way as bad as what we’re experiencing. But really, that couldn’t be the farther from the truth. There is always somebody else that is going through something just as bad and in some cases even worse. I do know that all things pass in time, situations will tend to fade, pain eases and life gets easier.

Many people handle situations that come up in very different ways. I’ve noticed in my profession many are apt to ‘suffer in silence’, for a lot of us it’s just part of the job. I for one like to have friends and family close by so that I can keep my mind busy with conversation etc. However, I sometimes tend to get quiet depending on what type of situation I may be dealing with. So I guess what I am trying to say is keep an eye out for people that you care about. Don’t get wrapped up in your own situation so much that you tune everybody else out, making them feel that they are not important in your life. Both Aza and her dad have a sixth sense, they can just tell or feel when something isn’t right so they will call me just to check on me. Of course sure enough something has happened so I will tell her or her dad about it which makes me feel better, especially knowing that I have somebody that cares enough about me to take time out of their busy day just to see what’s going on.

So in closing, call somebody today, drop a card in the mail, e-mail a friend or family member that you haven’t seen or heard from in awhile just to let them know that you are thinking about them. If that’s not possible, sit for a moment and offer some positive energy or a prayer. Remember the old saying “a burden shared”? It doesn’t matter if you have never met this person face to face. I have never met some of you but have found myself offering a prayer after reading about your trial. We may be strangers but there is a human connection that transcends the miles between all of us. During dinner prayer last week Aza mentioned a woman that she met through blogging. She doesn't know her real name and has never met her in real life but she knew that she was in the hospital. I think if you will do this it will make you feel pretty good about yourself and if it doesn’t then it might be time to do a little soul searching.

I’m Out And We’ll Talk Later!

Let’s welcome a couple of new LEO bloggers and a new dispatcher blog

When Aza first created my blog in January and got me started, The Enforcer over at The Enforcer’s Notebook gave me an awesome shout out welcoming me to the community.

Now that I'm settled I really enjoy looking at all of the folks that check out my blog. Aza has taught me all of the in’s and out’s of the blogosphere. One of the things that she has taught me is to always make an effort to visit other people’s blogs, particularly those who take the time to visit me and comment.

With that in mind I would like to welcome a few new bloggers to the blogosphere and encourage all that visit me to check out their blogs. First up is LEO For The People, he just starting posting this month. Also, LEO Dark Nights who came on the scene about the same time as I did. And finally, a brand new dispatcher, Brother In Blue has arrived! Both LEO blogs are great reads and I suspect the new dispatchers blog will be great too, tell them Kojak sent ya!

I’m Out And We’ll Talk Later!

A night to remember!

I have lived a very long time and had a ton of friends along the way; they’ve come and gone. Some relocated for job opportunities, others unfortunately passed away and a few went through nasty relationship break ups. I have found in my long in the tooth years of living on this earth that true friends never leave your side. When times and weather get rough that’s when you know who your real friends are. That said, I honestly feel that Aza is and always will be my best friend.

I believe she wrote in that beautiful post that she wanted me to have a birthday with “My Friends” I can tell you that when I was with Mrs. Ed I never had a birthday with my friends. They were never invited because it was always about her friends being forced into my life. My birthday was always an excuse for her to have another “girl’s night out”. I got very tired of that so when Aza told me about what she was going to do I was touched and deeply appreciative. I can tell you that it was a monumental feat in itself to organize and plan for roughly 40 police officers to all get together at one time and place. This was done in absolute perfection by her. We have a place in our city that is basically an arcade for adults (they have a full service bar). The plan was for everybody to meet there, socialize, if they wanted to drink a few beers go ahead and knock yourself out, but most importantly just to relax and have a good time. I had over 40 of my closest friends and coworkers there including the entire staff at my lawyer’s office. One of the dispatcher’s that works in my zone a lot was invited. She brought 2 other dispatchers with her so all of the officers were able to put a face with a voice. I respect our dispatcher’s tremendously, they are our life line.

I got a ton of gift’s ranging from gift cards to restaurants’ to the Harley Davidson shop, which I went to today. Aza’s dad came, now if you knew her dad you would know that this isn’t something that he would do for anyone due to his disability. I was so proud that he came, he is like a father to me and I have the utmost respect for him so I was thrilled. After things kinda slowed down, the cakes were attacked with ferocity and the gifts opened. Aza and I along with another officer that we surprised with a cake because it was her birthday a few days earlier went to play games. We had a ball, I was told that I had to play that dance game- you know the one that you stand on the platform and jump on the arrows when they roll up the screen in front of you. Aza demanded that I get on that stupid thing with her. She kicked my old ass! She was dancing up a storm while I just stood there looking stupid, feeling very old and completely uncoordinated. We ended up closing the place down at midnight. The really cool thing was that nobody got stupid drunk, people met their co workers and had great fellowship. It was a fantastic party that will have everybody talking for a long time to come; because of Aza’s efforts everyone had a great time. It was an awesome night and one that I will never forget!

When Aza read her post to me before we left for the party, I have to be honest, I had some very big croc tears. It brought back some very serious memories. I loved my mother and father so much. I was so lucky to have 2 people that at any moment would have given their life for me. They were deeply in love with each other throughout my entire life. I was very blessed in more ways than one. It is amazing to me how one person can make such an impact on your life. Those words that Aza wrote really came from her heart. I knew that because when she read it to me I could feel it in her voice. I know that if my parents were alive today they would have absolutely loved her and her family to death. I’ll tell you why- because they honestly love me from the heart. That’s all that my parents ever wanted for me. I feel like I let them down because of the failed marriages but I guess that’s just life. I know that I could hear my mother now, “Honey she is a sweet girl, that’s what momma wants you to settle down with.” Of course, she would understand that I was wayyyyyyy too old, plus she is veryyyyyyyy married.

I remember my mother telling me about my birth. I really was not supposed to live. As Aza wrote, I stayed 5 months in the incubator. My mother by her own admission did not bond with me. She told me that she never held me the entire time. Then one day they told her that I was going to pull through so get the room ready. I came home and she honestly didn’t have that motherly feeling until one day it hit her like a ton of bricks. She told me that I looked at her and smiled, the rest is history. My dad was bad ass. He ruled with an iron thumb so I didn’t get away with anything. I had a great deal of respect for him because he was a real family man. He worked hard, played hard with me, but was always there for me, just as my mother was. So, Aza was incredibly accurate with her words. They are gut wrenching for me because I truly miss my parents but I can lay my head on the pillow every night and sleep well because I know in my heart that I was loved and when they needed me I was there for them just as they were for me.

Aza, I will say it again and again you mean everything in the world to me. I am so lucky to have you in my life. I know that my parents are looking down and smiling because their prayers were answered. All they wanted was for me to be happy. Well, after 48 years I am truly happy. I owe it all to you and your family. I know in my heart that I have friends and family for life.

I Love You and Thank You for all that you do for me. I thank God every day that we are family.

I’m Out and We’ll Talk Later.

Happy Birthday, Kojak!!!

The venue has been booked, 8 trillion invitations sent, 8 trillion RSVP’s made, the bomb of all birthday cakes ordered and the decorations readied for decoratin’ the venue (one in particular that will embarrass the hell out of you……I found your baby pics! Here's where you picture me laughing maniacally).

Seriously, I hope that tonight’s birthday celebration is the best you’ve ever had. I’d like to read the below to you and your guests as a sort of toast this evening. However, should the right moment slip by or my nerve weaken I’m posting it here for you. Happy birthday, hon! I’m blessed to call you friend…


A small delicate woman and her husband sat filled with nervous anxiety in a doctor’s office. They had tried to conceive but had been told repeatedly that it would never happen. Her fragile body simply could not bear or support a pregnancy to term. This appointment was different as was the news her doctor delivered; against all odds she had conceived. She was warned that the pregnancy would most probably fail ending in a miscarriage and to not get her hopes up. After being told nothing short of a miracle had taken place, how could she not get her hopes up. She and her husband left the appointment with a renewed sense of life. God had answered their prayer. Determination replaced anxiety. Determination to carry this child in her body, nourish him, love him and successfully deliver him. Determination to be a mother and give her husband the gift of fatherhood.

As the weeks passed her body tried to keep up with the ever changing biological and biochemical environment that pregnancy brings. She ate well, got plenty of rest and her husband cared for her diligently. It was a warm April evening in 1960, she was barely 7 months into her term. Something felt wrong. Her body had grown so weak and could no longer sustain a growing baby that it was never meant to support in the first place. Fear washed over her heart as her worst nightmare was quickly becoming a reality, she was going into labor. 12 exhausting hours and an emergency caesarian later, April 15th at 7:20 in the morning they heard the faint, frail cry of a beautiful baby boy. She and her husband, filled with love and joy for this precious gift from God, knew that though their prayers had been answered, their new son wasn’t out of harm’s way yet. He had been delivered dangerously early. Again, they were told not to get their hopes up. Premature births had a very high mortality rate.

Their beloved infant would spend the next 5 months continuing to grow and develop in an incubator. Each minute seeing their new untouchable baby attached to monitors displaying every heartbeat and breath taken must have seemed like an eternity as they watched him struggle to live, unable to hold and caress him in their arms. With each passing day their love and prayers helped him grow stronger. Finally the day came when they would be able to cradle a little miracle, touch his face and hold his tiny hands. The danger had passed.

Now, beating the odds, a man sits before you celebrating his 48th year of life. With 27 of them dedicated to doing God’s work as a police officer paying homage for answering a scared young couple's prayer years earlier. In our darkest hour and weakest moment when God is unable to physically intervene he sends his enforcers; the mercy of God working through the hands and hearts of those in blue. What is the first thing that most of you hear when arriving on catastrophic and terrible scenes where fear and uncertainty reign? “Thank God you‘re here!”

Today we are not just celebrating a birthday, another year of life. We are celebrating a miracle. Thank God you're here!

Much Love and Many Blessings,
Aza

Happy Easter, I want my stuff!

I hope that everyone in the blog world had a great Easter, I know I did. Aza fixed a fantastic dinner for all of us. Great job Aza! She just plain rocks!

I found out a day that I can finally get my stuff from Mrs. Ed. Supposedly this coming Wednesday. I know it’s shocking, but I think I’m getting closer to having my belongings back in my possession. Now, before you get to excited, she still hasn’t responded in regards to my requested time. I feel pretty certain that she will wait till the last second to tell me. I have asked four of my closest friends to retrieve my items, you have to trust my judgment as to why I am not going. This woman has beat me to death verbally every single time I have either talked to her on the phone or have seen her in person. I am tired of her mouth and threats. Quite frankly, I’m not going to put up with her viciousness anymore. I deal with enough of this crap out on the street day in and day out, I shouldn’t have to deal with it in my personal life too.

The plan at this point is my buddies will meet near my home, I am going to call a deputy from that county as a witness just to be on the safe side. I am not going to subject my friends to anything that will cause them any grief. I think that it will be the best for all involved.

I hope that she can set her vindictive psychosis aside for a moment and realize how important it is for me to get my mothers bed. I am the one that laid in that bed with her when she was dying, I held her, cried with her and slept with her till she woke up. I have to give her props because she was good to my mother, but I know that she is withholding my mother’s belongings just to hurt me and it’s working. I want my mothers stuff, all I have left is her memories.

I do know she is moving, where I don’t know and really could care less. I just hope that she moves in with her new boyfriend. I really feel sorry for him, just another fool that’s going to get milked dry. When they showed up for court I saw that she’s already driving his Cadillac Escalade truck, so she’s sinking the teeth in fast. What a fool, but then again so was I right?

The reason I hope that she moves in with the new meal ticket man is pretty simple. The new alimony law in Florida states that if it can be shown that either party filing for alimony is being supported by another party (regardless of relationship), you have no claim to alimony. Please lord let her be stupid, well more stupid, vindictive, nasty, hateful, greedy, there’s so many words that describe her I could go on forever. That’s sad isn’t it? To think that a person that you gave your soul to, took her grown kids and treated them like they were your own as well as the grandkids would treat you that way. I worked so hard for this family. Just one example- I worked 8 months worth of 12 hour days with only 10 days off in that period just so that we could have something in the bank when I retired. It all went to her desperate need for plastic surgery, designer clothes and her kids. All of my hard work, like water through her hands. She took all of that money out of our account, leaving me with 8 dollars. As we flow along through this saga I think most of you can now see why I can’t stand this bitch!!!!

Aza said it best, "You gave her the most, did more for her and her kids than all 5 of the other husbands and she wants to $^%K you the most." You are so right sweety, I love me some Aza, that’s my girl, tell it like it is! I still honestly believe that Mrs. Ed had all this planned out due to the timing of my retirement. Anyway, wish me luck and my buddies in retrieving my stuff! I will let you know what happens after Wednesday, better known as “D-Day“.

I’m Out And We’ll Talk Later.

My Shoulder and Ear

A couple of years ago I met a friend of mine through his work at a local drug store, eventually meeting his wife, Aza, whom some of you may have stumbled across in the blogosphere and her dad. Her family and I hit it off from the start. Our friendship grew over time, eventually so much so that I became a member of the family. Her dad (who I occasionally reference and who occasionally comments here) has basically adopted me as a son. When my wife went completely nuts, Aza and her family were right there in my corner, providing invaluable advice every step of the way.

When my wife told me to pack my bags, I had no place to go, in steps Aza with a complete plan. She found a 5 star local Inn that would house me for a week, this cost her over $600.00 dollars, I was speechless. I had nothing but uniforms, a few toiletries and a couple of shirts. Once again, here comes Aza with clothes, food and a number of other things that I would need to survive. I knew then that this person was not like any other person that I have ever known.

Aza has been there for me through some very tough and emotional times, she has not left my side through any of it. I have listened to her intently as she gave me solid advice over a number of issues, always making sure that I was crystal clear on all of the issues.

I have never in my life laughed as much as I have since she came into my life, she is the funniest person that I have ever met. I know that I can call her at any time of the day or night, with any need and she will be right there for me, making me laugh with her cynical and sometime brutal sense of humor. She has made it part of her life to make sure that I am taken care of. I get a phone call each day to make sure that I am still alive. As I go through my shift she calls to make sure that I am okay and ask if I need anything. She cooks for me as well as her family everyday, never asking for anything in return.

This past Super Bowl Sunday, I really wanted to watch it, but I had to work the streets. Aza and her dad went to my house, cooked a full course meal, washed clothes, fed my animals (one of which is a kitty that I adopted from her- another post for another time), took out the garbage and cleaned the dishes. Now, she does this everyday, all the while still taking care of her family and a virtual army of animals that she has rescued. She is the one that encouraged me to start a blog assuring me of the therapeutic qualities of writing. She has and is continuing to design my blog, teach me the in’s and out’s of using it and she proofreads most of my posts.

I can’t explain to any of you how much I love this woman! She is the most loving, thoughtful and compassionate person I have ever met. She has a strong sense of family and fervently fights for what she believes in. I am convinced that she was sent by God to take care of me. I can promise that I will never do anything to disrespect her, or hurt her in any way.

I can only hope that if any of you could possibly have a friend like Aza, your life would be a lot happier and a hell of a lot funnier. Aza, I love ya! Thank You for all you do for me, you are truly my best friend!

Please take a moment to visit Aza over at Surreptitious Psychosis, I promise, you wont be disappointed, plus you will see how lucky I am to have her in my life!

I’m out and we’ll talk later.