Escape to crack head hideaway

So I was sitting near the sub-station, relaxing before I went to check off (turn in paperwork before I go home) when a buddy of mine called me on the radio and asked if I could help him in regards to an escaped prisoner. This officer is one of my closest friends, so of course I agreed.

This escaped prisoner was on a work release work crew when he took off. I remember seeing the B.O.L.O (Be On The Lookout) for the suspect earlier in the day. I made the trip out to his last reported location which was quite away from the area that I ride, but I was eager to get involved.

When I arrived, I was briefed, given his description and the exact location that he was supposed to be at. We all got the plan and eased out to the trailer all blacked out. The first thing that was very obvious about this area was these folks are some serious rednecks!! Every trailer that we walked past had a truck, burn barrel, pit bulls, and John Deere tractors. It felt like we were walking into a bad Jeff Foxworthy joke. We got to the location, surrounded the trailer and made sure that K9 went to the rear. I took a position of cover by this huge Oak tree, making sure that if things went bad I was able to have several options if I needed them. The Sergeant knocked on the door with a rookie officer that was just begging to get involved. The door opens there stands a crack head female holding a 2 year old little girl in her arms. I heard the Sgt. ask her if he was there and surprisingly she said that he was. I heard her say that he was in the bed with her, but she got up to smoke when we knocked on the door. She gave permission for them to conduct a search of the residence but I noticed that K9 was not part of the search. I realize that the Sgt. was calling the shots, but he just got his stripes and has been away from the streets for a number of years. I felt as the senior officer there, surrounded by a number of rookies, with the exception of my buddy I needed to speak up. I told the Sgt. with all due respect, I felt that it would be better to let the K9 search the residence, especially due to the intel we got that he would kill himself if the police caught him. The Sgt. agreed, so K9 went in first, allowing the dog to search off leash. We all sat waiting for the screams but they never came. The first thing that came to mind of course- this chick is lying! We drilled her some more and she swore he was just there. The K9 handler took his dog and checked the outside area, finding no signs that would lead us to think he fled into the woods.

The Sgt. came outside and asked if I had any ideas. I basically said that we needed to go back in there and check every inch of the place; I knew he had to be in there. I decided I would ask the crack head one more time about his whereabouts. Making sure she understood that if we found out that she was lying that we wouldn’t hesitate to put her behind in jail. Once again, she was adamant that he was there. “I promise you!” she says, “I’m not going to jail for him, I’m leaving and going to my boyfriends house.” That’s when it hit me, we are dealing with some real winners here. Let’s review: she’s got this escaped prisoner that is her baby’s daddy laying in the bed with her, but she is going to leave and go to her boyfriend’s house. Now I’m thinking to myself I know exactly why this guy escaped, he found out she was seeing somebody else and he couldn’t stand it.

The Sgt. called me and asked that I come inside the trailer, hoping that another set of eyes would help. I went in looking in every open hole I could find. Nothing. No sign of this guy. The next thing I hear is “IF YOU MOVE I’LL BLOW YOUR F%^*ING HEAD OFF!” I ran into the hallway and saw this guy wedged into the air conditioning return. I opened it up, yanked him out by his hair and the rookie handcuffed him.

This guy could have killed us all! If he had been armed we could have all been easily picked off; he watched everything we did. I was shocked to find him there, but was even more shocked that the dog didn’t find him. The crack head was right, he was there, but man did she change her attitude to try and impress this guy, “Oh baby you will be alright you will only do about a year. I promise I’ll wait and be here for you!” I’m thinking, “Oh yeah right, you got peanut butter legs you will have those legs in another mans bed before the nights over.” We started walking him out and he is screaming “Baby, I love you! Please wait on me! Please don’t sleep with that mother f$%^er!“ Of course you know some police officers just can’t keep their mouth shut which tends at times to make things funnier worse. Someone speaks up and tells him that she will be at her boyfriend’s house before he gets to jail. Well that back fired, he broke loose from the rookie. Hands cuffed behind his back he takes off running and screaming for this crack head. The beauty of it was that we still had K9 there. He gave the command for the dog to apprehend the suspect and off he goes. This dog hit him so hard you could hear the thud when he hit the ground. Puppy chow, anyone? After the dog ate him up the suspect was recaptured once again, this time for good.

It amazes me the power that this crack head had over this guy. I don’t know about you but I’ll be danged if I’m going to get my A#$ tore up by a dog for crack head lovin’!

I’m Out And We’ll Talk Later!

This one's for Still Stacy

Heya Stacy, Aza here- I’ve temporarily hijacked Kojak’s blog.

I saw the thread over at your place about your new weapons permit (congratulations!) and thought of you when my dad sent me this; as he knows my deep un-abiding love for knitting and high powered handguns....


Happiness is a warm gun...


Sorry Kojak, I couldn’t resist, you can have your blog back now.

MOVE!!!

I know that all of you that have been in Law Enforcement for any length of time will understand where I am coming from in this post.

I handle a very large number of high priority calls that require me to run emergency equipment on a daily basis. The city that I live in has just over a million people, with a good portion of these fine folks driving vehicles.

I had a call tonight that required me to run lights and siren to assist Fire Rescue with someone that was laying on the ground bleeding. Not being an EMT I am limited in my abilities to render first aid, however I still want to get there in case I am needed.

I was running lights and siren and it seemed that nobody wanted to get out of my way, so I was of course extremely frustrated at everybody on the road. I must have had at least 10 people that were on cell phones, God knows how many had their radios blasting with “gangsta rap“. So needless to say I was furious by the time I got to the scene. The first thing that I saw was Fire Rescue doing chest compressions and rescue breathing for a gentleman that was riding his bike and fell off. The reason he fell was because of a Pace Maker malfunction that sent him into cardiac arrest. Rescue put him in the rescue unit and sped away, continuing life saving measures.

I’d love to ask the people that are so busy listening to loud music, talking on their cell phones, and just generally driving with their head up their #$$S- if your loved one was that gentleman in need of emergency care wouldn’t you want me as a first responder to get to your loved one so I could perform C.P.R. and hopefully save his or her life? If you can answer that with a resounding “Yes“ then do me a favor, GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR ASS AND PAY ATTENTION!

I’m Out And We’ll Talk Later!

Where do these "people" come from?

I often wonder about people sometimes; why they do the things they do. I got a call about a guy in the woods watching children as they got off the school bus. I didn’t have a back up, so off I go, thinking the whole way there about what I am fixing to get into. This area that I was dispatched to was surrounded by woods with a dirt road between the wood line. I arrive at the scene and get out of my car a block away so I can sneak up on this guy, hopefully catching him in the act of doing something illegal. I am walking up to the location that I think he is in when all of a sudden I see something move in the woods about 15 feet in front of me. I have no idea if this guy is armed so I arm myself, slowly making my way forward into the woods. I see him, but he hasn’t seen me yet so I take a position of cover and start giving some commands to exit the woods, making sure that his hands are where I can see them at all times. I notice that this guy is shuffling his feet a mile a minute, I’m thinking what the heck is this guy doing?! I am steady giving orders and he is steady shuffling those feet with his hands at about eye level, raised in the air. He is now getting closer, I see why he is shuffling. This disgusting pervert is screaming at me now, “Please officer, please don’t shoot me I’m unarmed!!!” I keep telling him to shuffle his behind right on over to me. Finally his little shuffling perverted self makes it to me, I stand there in complete shock not believing what I am looking at!

Standing in front of me is a grown man, very clean cut. This man has nothing on the lower half of his body but a pair of women’s pantyhose. Oh and the best part? The crotch has been cut out to have easy access to his genital area! You wanna know why he was shuffling?

Well let me just tell you all about it. He had a pair of women’s high heel come pump me shoes on, with a small set of handcuffs attached to the straps of the shoes! In his hair he had a fake flower tucked behind his ear. His ugly pimpled face was covered with eye shadow and make up. The only thing I could do was try not to vomit or kick the hell out of this guy. I snatched him up, drug him to the car and shoved him in disgust into the back of the police car.

I took him to jail just the way he was, crotchless pantyhose and all. I later found out that he was married, with children, studying to become a minister!

What on earth would cause a man with children, a wife and a supposed calling from God to be in the woods dressed like Rue Paul, masturbating as children walk by!!!! It never ceases to amaze me, you just never know who you may come in contact with.

I’m Out And We’ll Talk Later!

The countdown begins

I’ve got 8 more days until my mediation date with Mr. Ed. I really hate that it has gotten to the level of pure disgust that it has. I’m just so disappointed to think that a woman that I took such great care of and treated her grown children like they were my own, would lie about me the way she has. I am certainly man enough to admit when I am wrong, but I can tell you I have not done anything that would cause this amount of hatred that she feels for me in regards to this situation. There has been no affairs, at least on my part that she can blame this on however, she is convinced that I have. I honestly feel that she planned this entire scenario because she knew that I was the only one of the 5 husbands that she has had that amounted to anything. I know that she had quizzed me on a number of occasions about the amount of money that I will receive the day of retirement. She knew that it would be a substantial amount. I guess I should have seen it coming, but I was trying to plan for the future not thinking that this would happen.

I did find out that she is working 5 days a week, of course that is suppose to be a secret I guess. I just know that she has around 5K in her checking account, and I have lived off $20 bucks after the mandatory withdrawal for temp needs came out, her car payment and insurance payment were made. I had a friend of mine call up her new place of employment (she quit her old job and moved to this new one in an attempt to hide income) to see if she could make an appointment with her. The receptionist confirmed that she did work there, but was OUT OF TOWN FOR A WEEK! Are you kidding me?! When we were together she would never go out of town and half the time said she couldn’t work, now you can’t keep her behind in town. I’m sure she’s having a blast spending my hard earned money with her girlfriends.

I guess I can only hope once again that the courts will see through all of the lies about her not working, oh and the fact that since July 1st I have paid her 30K + dollars! Heh, she told them that I have only paid $375.00 dollars. The funny thing about it is, they believed her! It’s a good thing I saved receipts. I just don’t understand how I got myself into this $%^t! I do know that I am going to push the issue about a certain judge that regularly goes to her place of business; I think he should be issued a subpoena. My attorney is going to need to show a set because this particular judge works for the district where our case is being filed! I just wonder if that has anything to do with how I’m getting $%^&ed, I know he helped her find this attorney by her own admission. Oh the tangled web we weave!

Well that’s all I can think of for now, I’m Out And We’ll Talk Later !

Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Southerner?

Thanks for the forward, dad! Very funny!



Here is a little test that will help you decide. The answer can be found by posing the following question:

You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife, and charges at you.

You are carrying a 40 caliber Glock, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.

What do you do?

.............................................................
THINK CAREFULLY AND THEN SCROLL DOWN



Democrat's Answer:

Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!

Does the man look poor or oppressed?

Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?

Could we run away?

What does my wife think?

What about the kids?

Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?

What does the law say about this situation?

Does the Glock have an appropriate safety built into it?

Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?

Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?

Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?

If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?

Should I call 9-1-1?

Why is this street so deserted?

We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day, and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.

This is all so confusing!

I need to debate this with some friends for few days and try to come to a consensus.

.................................................



Republican's Answer:

BANG!



....................................................


Southerner's Answer:

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!

Click..... (Sounds of reloading) BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! Click

Daughter: 'Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Hollow Points?'

Son: 'Can I shoot the next one!'

Wife: 'You're not takin' that to the Taxidermist

A rescue of the "squirrely" variety

Well after all these years I thought I had pretty much seen and done it all, guess not.

I got a message from the sub station to call a woman but I had no clue who it was. I was hesitant simply because the ex-wife has played this prank before to bait me into calling her so she could scream and curse at me. I called her despite my concern and was met with a very sweet older woman on the other end that sounded like she was in a panic. Ms. M told me that she found 2 baby {2 weeks old max} squirrel’s in her backyard. Ms. M said that she told her neighbor about the squirrel’s, but had no idea how to take care of them. Her neighbor told her that she heard about a policeman that was somehow involved in animal rescue and had a friend (Aza) that did squirrel rescue. Ms. M went to the sub station to attempt to locate me, but she could only describe me. The Community Service Officers told her that it sounded like me, thus we made contact.

I immediately called Aza, of course she called Ms. M, Ms. M told her that she had been feeding them regular milk, which is a big no-no, but bless her heart she didn’t know. Aza called me back, telling me that she was going to meet Ms. M at a location between the two of them. I met Aza, and Ms. M and was handed 2 barely alive squirrels that were both near death due to severe dehydration, hypothermia and boarder line starvation (according to Aza). She took them and immediately went into rescue mode. You have to know that she has been doing these types of rescues for a very long time and she is absolutely the best at what she does. She has a few stories about a couple of her rescues under the label Saving Grace on her blog. A lot of the cases she gets in are abused (just read about poor little Kaz) so she doesn't talk about it much ((Please be forewarned that Aza is passionate about what she does and because a number of her rescues (like Kaz) came from very abusive situations, she is incredibly descriptive and uses a number of “sentence enhancers” when relaying their stories)). Anyway, these lil guys needed help and needed it now! I went to get syringes to feed them, Aza went to get the nipples that fit on the end of a 1cc syringe and are as rare as a wooden nickel from a vet she used to work with. The rescue was underway! We lost the lil girl, she had some internal damage due to Ms. M‘s cat, there was just nothing we could do. The lil man was not eating much but when Aza made her special formula, he went crazy and hasn’t stopped.

Below is a picture she took earlier this evening. After a few feedings he's finally getting his color back and actually looks like a baby Eastern Gray squirrel!

Aza will be teaching me how to care for him. As of right now she is feeding this lil guy on the hour, every hour until he gets to a level that he can consume 2 to 3 ml’s of formula and is rehydrated. Then we can get to feeding him every 3 to 4 hours.

Now, I know it sounds really cute and you’re probably thinking “Are you going to keep him?” The answer to that is a resounding “No.” You can not have a domesticated squirrel, when their testicles drop they become a wild animal and vicious. This in mind, Aza has several that she has rehabbed, that became “permanents”. One has 3 legs and the other one has no upper incisors. This is the only time you should keep wild animals, if they are not able to be released into their natural environment because of their physical condition and you are willing to get the proper licensing required. You should have their captive environment as close to their natural environment as possible. It does them such a disservice when they are kept in captivity, when they should be released. Just to give you an idea, Aza has had these guys since juvenile stages. You would think they would know her, but due to hormones and wild animals being just that, wild- they have been known to try to attack her. She has years of experience in taking care of these guys and more importantly is licensed to due so. As surprising as it may seem, it is illegal to rehabilitate wild animals without state or (for some species) federal licensing.

In closing, we will rehab this lil guy and release him in about 5 months. If anybody has any questions, please feel free to ask.

I’m Out And We’ll Talk Later!