He drove it like he stole it!

I have been involved in a ton of vehicle pursuits, as slow as 20 mph and as fast as 140 mph. I can tell you that all of them are unbelievably fun, but dangerous at times. Such was the case last night. I had a good friend of mine with me last night as a civilian observer. Now, most of you that are officer’s know that when you have riders they all want to get involved in a high speed chase or go to a shooting etc. I do know that they hate getting stuck on a domestic or directing traffic at a busy intersection for 6 hours. My buddy said “I never get into anything when I ride.” Hahahahahaha, whatever! That’s why you had a bowel malfunction in your drawer’s last night! Let me tell you why…

I am rolling in a high drug area when I hear a fellow officer say that he is chasing one. Every officer goes on high alert when those beautiful words come over the air waves. The suspect vehicle is a 2006 white Nissan Titan V8 traveling at a high rate of speed with headlights out. The suspect initially lost the pursuing officer for a brief time. The suspect reappears at the intersection of a major highway, eventually going north on that same highway. When you work for a large department the perks are abundant when something like this busts open. We had officers set up at the next intersection with stop sticks. I called Aza as I was traveling ohhh about 90 telling her to stay put since she was with her dad in the same area that this nutcase was driving so erratically. I did not want them to be hurt. I took off to try and intercept the suspect as he is approaching the next major intersection. I get to the entrance ramp and look over only to see my buddy with a look of terror in his eyes and white knuckling anything he can get his hands on. I laugh inside thinking, “Bitch you can’t say nothing now, you’re in the mix!!!!” I get to the area when I hear and see the suspect vehicle get stop sticked. Bammmm! We got one tire! I get up on the interstate and had to wait for at least 25 cars chasing this guy. Our policy is 2 chasing the bad guy, the rest back off and parallel on adjacent roads. Hahahaha! Yeah ok, tell that to all these hungry policeman with an incredible adrenalin rush flowing through their veins! But anyway needless to say the suspect is being heavily pursued. The suspect made a quick exit onto a local road with the front left tire blowing apart still maintaining speeds of no less than 90 mph. He is blowing our cars off the road with this truck and on 3 tires. The suspect continues these speeds into a number of local roads and back up onto the interstate. He has not been under 90 mph yet, this truck is holding up unbelievably. We at this point are sure that this guy is going to kill somebody, so officers that are not in this chase are shutting down major roads in his path. These guys are doing a remarkable job with traffic.

The suspect has now entered into another county with my department on his ass. I was not in a position to help at this point so I backed off and just waited. I told my buddy that he was going to make his way back into our direction so we would just be patient. I listened intently as this suspect led officers in 2 counties as well as F.H.P. (Florida highway Patrol) at speeds of now 100 mph., through the back roads of a small town. Debris is now causing police cars to be damaged. Chunks of metal is hitting windshields at speeds of 100 mph. Obviously a very serious danger to the officers. These guys are professionals though, we are going to fight the fight no matter the cost. My Sergeant is now the number 2 car, I almost fell out of my car and wrecked it at the same time when I heard this. He never gets into anything! I can’t believe it, he just might get his hair messed up (inside joke). He has this macho lookin’ tattoo sleeved left arm that looks like that Comcast commercial that says “You Tiger Now!“ but hair that has so much hair spray a hurricane couldn’t move it. I’m excited he is actually doing some police work. Ok sorry, but anyway the suspect is now headed back towards my county. My buddy is so excited, so we took off again trying to be reactive and head this guy off. Just before he gets back into my county he gets sticked again. Now he is traveling at 70 mph with only 1 functional tire. Yep, 1! He is coming right at us. I see flames shooting way above his truck spraying debris all over the place. I get into a position almost right next to him as he now crosses over into the southbound lane traveling north running people off the road. The suspect tries to make a right turn into a subdivision that his mother lives in, he can’t and drives back across the median right into my path of travel. I have to move over because another officer is right on him. He veers hard right and strikes the officer that is right beside me causing his car to slide sideways. The suspect has just pitted himself. He looses control and is still traveling at 65 mph with me right beside him. I look up at the same time my buddy screams, “OHHHHH SHIT!!!!” The suspect slams into the rear of a stopped truck at 65 mph. The trucks shake the ground, debris is flying everywhere with a large metal tool box almost slamming into my windshield. I stop and jump out, by this time my guys had already busted out the drivers window to his truck. The suspect still has the presence of mind to fight the police, bad mistake bro!!! He is swarmed by the boys in blue, including a furry landshark with 4 legs and a muzzle full of teeth called “Nitro”. The suspect is refusing to put his arms behind his back. Nitro is deployed and is eating his behind uppppp!!!! He quickly surrenders, suspect in custody.

While he was being tuned up, I went to the innocent gentleman that was hit while just trying to get home. He is suffering from severe head injuries, back and neck issues and much more. I am consoling him telling him that he is ok and rescue is on the way. I maintain this posture until they do arrive taking over eventually using the jaws of life to extricate him from the vehicle. The suspect, well, he is in a pool of blood screaming. I see this guys female friend which I find out later is his wife screaming “I LOVE YOU BABY, PLEASE STOP!!!!” Are you kidding me!? Honey, you can get your ass in the back seat of a police car too.




Yes, that's me putting her in the back of my car. Aza insisted I add the pic, she said it was for "aesthetics ".

Wow! 52 miles, at least 2 counties, 4 different agencies involved and the remarkable thing is that no police were injured. I can’t say that about our cars. My Sergeant got stop sticked. Hahahaha, I did laugh I couldn’t help it! We go way back so I can get away with that. He finally showed up with his perfect, concrete hair in complete disarray. I really laughed then. We all knew that was serious stuff to get his hair messed up. Ohhhh! His windshield was also all busted up during the pursuit from debris. I was so proud of him…. HAHAHA!

As for the bad guy, below are pictures of his truck. He ran because he is a career traffic offender with 5 dui’s and active warrants for another dui he was just arrested for in January; the very definition of “habitual”.





Because he chose to run, he is in critical condition, with a good chance of dying according to the doctors.

The poor guy just trying to get home is stable. I met his son and wife at the trauma center. They hugged me and cried. These people were so sweet. They both told me that he told them that a policeman held his hand and told him that he was going to be ok. That’s why I became a policeman and that’s why I will die a policeman. It’s people like this man that face uncertainties but still looked at me and thanked me for doing my job! I want all of you to please pray for this innocent family, I did…

I’m Out And We’ll Talk Later!

No, it does not read: "To Serve (as public transportation) and Protect"

I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again, “People never cease to amaze me!”

I went to help another officer out with a call to a domestic violence. Of course when we arrived, we contact our complainant. We will call him “Dumbass” from here on out. So, Dumbass has 3 police officers standing in front of him with a combined total of 50 years of experience. Now, you know with that much time on the job and a complainant that is drunk as a skunk, somebody is gonna be a smart ass but we are going to try really hard not to be.

Let’s start at the beginning. Dumbass gets into an argument with his fiancée because he thinks she’s doing the nasty with the neighbor. The fiancée who is just as drunk as Dumbass didn’t like that accusation very much so she jumped into their van (which has both of their names on the title). Dumbass was going to stop her, he wasn’t about to let this woman leave in HIS car that HE bought. So in true Dumbass form he jumped in front of the van in a show of manhood- or in an attempt to win a Darwin award, the other responding officers and myself are still debating that. The fiancée looked at him, laughed and drove around him in a blaze of glory.

Dumbass was really mad, he was going to show her so he called 911. Thus into the story comes the three stooges. Dumbass picked me out of the three of us for some strange reason (which is also under hot debate). He starts out with “I got a doctors appointment at 7am in the morning. They’re going to do a heart cath on me! She took my van and I want it back!” I decided to completely forgo explaining to him all of the things that were wrong with this scenario thus far. Namely (and I’m completely bypassing…get it? Bypassing? Okay, so it wasn’t that funny…the fact that he jumped in front of a moving vehicle), you’re drunk and you have a heart cath tomorrow!? Now if that isn’t a Darwin award nomination I don’t know what is!

Anyway, without getting into all of that I asked him if he was the only one on the registration. Dumbass says no. Well, that’s a problem I tell him because she has every right to that vehicle, just as much as he does. Dumbass looked me straight in the eyeball and once again with sincerity on his face says, “Well which one of you is gonna pick me up and take me to my doctors office in the morning? Cause if I die tonight it’s going to be all of ya’lls fault!” This is where the little smartass that lives deep within my psyche decided to make a nasty appearance. I looked at this drunk, smelly, inbred and said “Sir, I certainly hope that you don’t die, however if you do, I promise you I will not lose a bit of sleep over it.” Ohhhhhh that struck a nerve, he jumped up, stumbled a little bit and said “I pay taxes, that means I pay your salary! I want service and I want it in the morning, so you need to get here and take me to my doctors appointment!” Wow, if I had a dime for every time I heard the ol’ “I pay your salary with my taxes” spiel! I could only laugh at this point, I looked at Dumbass and told him that if he paid my salary I needed a raise because apparently he wasn’t paying enough taxes. Dumbass was really pissed now. So naturally he demanded my car number and my partners car numbers as well. Ummmmm, okay. I was eager to give him this information. I even told him, “Please complain on me first! I would love to see my supervisors face when you tell him that you are demanding that I take you to the doctors office in the morning.” Dumbass stumbled stormed out in the yard and in true dramatic drunk form attempted to write down the cars numbers. Again, all we could do was laugh. We walked out to our cars and left as Dumbass bid us farewell by yelling the following, “If I die I’m going to sue all of you cause it’s your fault, you need to take me to my doctors appointment!!!” Yeah. Okay.

You gotta love this job….. I’m Out And We’ll Talk Later!

Gymnastics and cheerleading do not qualify you to drive drunk!

We see so many tragic things in police work, when the funny stuff comes along, it’s more than welcomed! Last night I along with another officer stopped a female driving a truck for running a red light at a very busy intersection. I got her stopped, walked up to the drivers door and was hit with the ever so pleasant and completely overwhelming smell of stale beer! I asked for her drivers license, which took 10 minutes to retrieve from the pile of trash and beer labels that she had stuffed in her purse. “Ms. {B} I asked do you know why I stopped you?” Her response, “I think I ran the red light on Carter Blvd.” We were on Ellington Blvd.; that was my first “this chick is toast” clue! Of course when I told her that she wasn’t on that road she started the whole “yes I am, I know where I’m at!” argument. I knew then that this was going to be one of those stops.

In my department we have a separate unit that handles our D.U.I ‘s so that it won’t tie the beat officer up for 2 hours or more. So, I called for a unit and a good friend of mine, {F} showed up. I explained everything to him, which is all on camera and taped.

Officer {F} walks up to her window, identifies himself and asks her to exit her vehicle. She gets out, stumbles and has to grab the side of her truck to hold herself up. This is clue number 2. Now here comes the good stuff, well at least I think it is.

Officer {F} starts the request to perform the D.U.I exercise’s, which consist of Walk the line, One leg stand, Rhomberg Alphabet and finger to nose. I knew then we were in for a show!

The walk the line test took oh, I don’t know, 15 minutes to explain to this poor lush of exactly how it was to be performed. This exercise was demonstrated by Officer {F} during the explanation. Ms. {B} thinks she’s got it so here we go! Ms. {B} very carefully puts one foot in front of the other and is instructed to stand this way until all of the instructions were provided. Should be pretty simple right? Well of course for me and you because we’re not tore up from the floor up! Ms. {B} is all over the place, bending over trying to hold her feet on the line, eventually failing so miserably that Officer {F} has to tell her that we just won’t do this exercise.

Now we have moved on to the one leg stand. Ms. {B} is provided all of the instructions, telling Officer {F} “I know I can do this one, I was in gymnastics and cheerleading!” she exclaims. Officer {F} is excited, maybe she can actually perform the exercise. The instructions are very specific, DO NOT HOP! Ms. {B} is beaming and full of confidence, she was a gymnast and cheerleader remember. Ms{ B} is pumped up, she points her left foot as instructed, holding it 24 inches off the ground instead of the required 6. She is so happy with her accomplishment she grabs her ankle, pulls her leg and ankle up to her butt. She then starts hopping all over the place like a bunny rabbit counting out loud in a very slurred and inaudible voice “One thousand one, one thousand three, one thousand six, one thousand eleven, one thousand twenty, and one thousand thirty!!!” Wow! She looked like a complete idiot and she was so proud of herself; she really thought she passed. She had a huge smile on her face as she looks at Officer {F} waiting for his approval. Officer {F} very calmly looks at her straight faced (which is more than I can say for Myself and the other officer who made the initial stop!) and says “I can see how successful you must have been in your cheerleading and gymnastics career, lets go on to the next exercise.”

Needless to say, you can see what we were dealing with here. The rest of the exercise’s were not performed simply because poor 54 year old, Olympic medalist Ms. {B} just couldn’t continue after her award winning performance of the previous exercise’s. She was placed under arrest and was in complete shock, not understanding how she didn’t pass.

Please don’t drink and drive. Unlike this one, I have so many stories of tragedy involving drunk/buzzed drivers, some that are very close to me involving my family, one of which that left an 11 year old little girl without a mother. This same little girl’s father was struck by a DUI driver in a separate incident, leaving him a functioning paraplegic. I love this man, that’s why I call him Dad and her my best friend!

I’m out and we’ll talk later!