I often wonder about people sometimes; why they do the things they do. I got a call about a guy in the woods watching children as they got off the school bus. I didn’t have a back up, so off I go, thinking the whole way there about what I am fixing to get into. This area that I was dispatched to was surrounded by woods with a dirt road between the wood line. I arrive at the scene and get out of my car a block away so I can sneak up on this guy, hopefully catching him in the act of doing something illegal. I am walking up to the location that I think he is in when all of a sudden I see something move in the woods about 15 feet in front of me. I have no idea if this guy is armed so I arm myself, slowly making my way forward into the woods. I see him, but he hasn’t seen me yet so I take a position of cover and start giving some commands to exit the woods, making sure that his hands are where I can see them at all times. I notice that this guy is shuffling his feet a mile a minute, I’m thinking what the heck is this guy doing?! I am steady giving orders and he is steady shuffling those feet with his hands at about eye level, raised in the air. He is now getting closer, I see why he is shuffling. This disgusting pervert is screaming at me now, “Please officer, please don’t shoot me I’m unarmed!!!” I keep telling him to shuffle his behind right on over to me. Finally his little shuffling perverted self makes it to me, I stand there in complete shock not believing what I am looking at!
Standing in front of me is a grown man, very clean cut. This man has nothing on the lower half of his body but a pair of women’s pantyhose. Oh and the best part? The crotch has been cut out to have easy access to his genital area! You wanna know why he was shuffling?
Well let me just tell you all about it. He had a pair of women’s high heel come pump me shoes on, with a small set of handcuffs attached to the straps of the shoes! In his hair he had a fake flower tucked behind his ear. His ugly pimpled face was covered with eye shadow and make up. The only thing I could do was try not to vomit or kick the hell out of this guy. I snatched him up, drug him to the car and shoved him in disgust into the back of the police car.
I took him to jail just the way he was, crotchless pantyhose and all. I later found out that he was married, with children, studying to become a minister!
What on earth would cause a man with children, a wife and a supposed calling from God to be in the woods dressed like Rue Paul, masturbating as children walk by!!!! It never ceases to amaze me, you just never know who you may come in contact with.
I’m Out And We’ll Talk Later!
"I sometimes wish that people would put a little more emphasis upon the observance of the law than they do upon its enforcement." ~Calvin Coolidge