"I sometimes wish that people would put a little more emphasis upon the observance of the law than they do upon its enforcement." ~Calvin Coolidge

Friday, June 13, 2008

A vent

I have thought about how to write this for the last few days. The thought process was do I tell this to everybody who reads my blog or do I just keep it to myself. Aza is the only other person that knows about this, so she of course told me that it was up to me if I wanted to share my story. I feel that some of you are like family even though we have never met, but honestly the only people that I really care about how they feel are Aza and her Dad.

I told you that I only had a few days left before I retire. This information has not changed, I leave June 27th. I also told you that I had considered going with a smaller department that bordered our city. That is true also, but things have changed. I started the process that eventually led to my polygraph which I passed with flying colors. It has been 27 years since I have been put through the ringer but none the less I was prepared because I had absolutely nothing to hide. I have had a stellar career, so much so that I was given tremendous compliments by our Sheriff today at a county wide roll call in front of 150 officers. I got about 2 hours of sleep the night before the polygraph only because I just can’t go to bed at 9 o’clock. I never hit the sack until 3, 4 or 5 o’clock in the morning every night simply because I have been on nights for 15 years.

I arrived the morning of the test at 8:30am and was greeted by the examiner. He was a 24 year veteran from Ft. Lauderdale the birth place of the Cops T.V. program. We talked for about 25 minutes before we got down to the nitty gritty. He explained the ins and outs of the test and told me that he didn’t care what has happened the last 27 years, just be truthful and everything would be fine. I of course had no intension of being anything but truthful. I was told that he would ask me a series of about 200 questions some of which would be asked on the actual test. The questions were very personal in nature and some were just plain stupid. I finally completed the series of questions and was exhausted. I felt like I had just been beat up and left for dead. He was eager to get going so he hooked me up to “ol sparky II” and was ready to interrogate and grill me. The test consisted of about 10 questions that were asked 3 separate times with about 25 seconds in between each question. Finally I was unhooked and told that the test was complete.

The examiner left the room for a short while and then returned with my sheet. He said that everything looked great, all of my responses showed a truthful reading and that I had passed with no problem. We shook hands and he said that he looked forward to seeing me again.

I left feeling relieved to say the least. I called Aza telling her that all was well. She of course being my biggest fan was very happy but knew that there would not be an issue. I have to tell all of you that I had to borrow her car to go to the test because I can’t take my police car that far out of county. When I got in, she had a card with my name on it taped to the steering wheel that had absolutely the most comforting words in it that I have ever read. I love her, she is so good to me.

I got a phone call later in the day from the department telling me that I needed to be back out there Thursday morning at 8am to run their P.A.T. test. I was excited because I was that much closer to getting back into police work. A day went by that was very busy for us (I had a ton of errands all afternoon) so I was exhausted eventually going to bed and waking up about 9:30am. I picked up my phone and saw that I had a voice mail. I called my messaging system and heard a message that sent me first, into complete nausea and then ready to throw my guts up. As I listened in absolute disbelief the voice on the other end says “This call is for officer ‘Kojak’, we need to cancel your P.A.T. test. We will be in touch with you”. Now I am not a stupid man I know what that means. It means we don’t want your ass so forget our number. I called immediately and spoke to the lady that left the message. I was told that I was no longer a candidate for employment due to the result of my polygraph! I told her that she had to be kidding me, she said “No, I am not kidding you. Call Inspector Harvey.” I couldn’t punch the numbers fast enough. I got him on the phone and was told that one of the questions that I responded to truthfully really set off the Major. So much so that he immediately suspended my status.

I am going to be honest with you, the question was “Have you ever has sex while on duty?” I went numb first then got pissed. I told him that I answered it with a truthful answer as the test showed. I explained the circumstances behind the answer. It was over 15 years ago with my first wife on my lunch break. She had called and asked that I take lunch at home that day. I logged out, went home to eat and something happened. My answer fell on deaf ears. I was simply not what they were looking for I was told.

Now, I can honestly tell you that I don’t know too many officers that haven’t done something like that in their career (and not necessarily with their spouse). It is absolutely not something that I am proud of but I can tell you that when I was in training if you didn’t you were considered a plant, gay, or you were not one of the guys. Although peer pressure back in the day was tremendous it was not something I folded to. It is a very dark side of being a police officer that I am not proud of but it is what it is. Yes, I did something with my then wife while on lunch. I was man enough to admit it to him and I am man enough to tell all of you. I have never stolen anything, I am not a child molester, crack head or a rogue police officer that beats the shit out of suspects for no reason. I told the truth and I have been persecuted for that. I was told as much that it probably should have been something that should have never come out. Hmmm, so lie about it!?!? Are you kidding me?!

So there it is folks I am not good enough to be an officer for that department. I feel embarrassed, humiliated, and completely devastated. I stand by the fact that I was truthful, but I refuse to believe that I am not good enough!

I’m Out And We’ll Talk Later!


Aza said...

To hell with them! You told the truth about something that occurred over 15 years ago with someone you were married to (which is more than could be said for some officers!) on your lunch break. It’s not like you were out trolling for hookers! If they’re going to make you pay for being honest then they are not a department I would want to be affiliated with!

Officer "Smith" said...

Sounds like you need to find a town without a stick up their collective ass. That's ridiculous.

TheBronze said...

Ditto. That's just plain retarded. Theo, the box is just a game and just like anything else, you have to know how to play it.

The box isn't about honesty, it's about passing or failing it. The history of the box is repleat with people telling the truth and failing.
There's a reason it isn't admitted in court!

I'm a firm believer in "there's certain things that people don't have any business knowing about" and this would be one of them.

The bottom line: if that dept. is THAT chicken-shit, you probably wouldn't have liked it there anyway.

Find another one.

*Goddess* said...

Technically, though, if you were on your lunch break, were you still considered 'on duty'?

Geez, I have to agree with Aza. Crucified because you had sex with your wife? Unreal.

Anonymous said...

This is outrageous. why ask such a question like that? I do not know you except through your blog. but I know you are a very honest and trustworhty person. You do not need to be working for goofs like that. I am sorry for the pain this has caused you.God Bless you.Be safe.Rick

Berserk said...

Wow, if that was all it took then this probably wasn't a good department to work for.

As far as the sex on duty thing goes, I've done pretty much the exact same thing. Way back when my house was in the same jurisdiction that I worked, and I lived in a small town. I was working graveyards, and it was a slow night (in that town, most of them were). I put myself on lunch and went home and had a quickie with my wife.

I'm not ashamed of it in the slightest (although I will say that as far as sex goes, it wasn't that good. My wife & I were both turned off by the uniform). I did nothing wrong. On the other hand, in a strange way, it did go a long way towards showing my wife that she was important to me despite the demanding job.

I'm a damn good cop, and so are you. Any department that can't see past something chickenshit like this is no place that you want to work. What's gonna happen the first time some chick says that you fondled her during a terry pat, or some guy resists and then cries wolf when you break his arm?

Kojak said...

Aza I completely agree. We have talked about things happening for a reason. I think this is certainly the case. I can't thank you enough for all your support and understanding. Love You Hon.

OfficerSmith I know bro, believe me I was shocked.

TheBronze I can't thank you enough for your support. I completely agree with your assesment of the poly I never have thought it was a useful tool. I appreciate our conversation and look forward to talking with you soon.

Goddess You are on duty 24/7 so I guess I should have just out right lied!

Fuzzysdad Thank You so much for the kind words. It is very much a sad situation but I can only take my medicine and move on. Your thoughts are greatly appreciated.

Berserk Thanks Bro. Yea I didn't think I was doing anything wrong by telling the truth. I thought that was the core of our profession. I do know that I will not change who I am by lying just to get a job. I appreciate the thoughts.

brookyngal said...

This is just insane. I'm so sorry. Yes, you are good enough to be with that dept., they just aren't good enough to have you! Be safe.

Anonymous said...

I just found your blog. I am so sorry about what happened. Poop on them if they don't know a good cop when they see one.

For The People said...

Durn buddy, seems like I am not the only one having a bad week. Thanks for the support you gave me yesterday! I needed it.

5150Wife said...

After my own awful experience with a polygraph as a teenager, I hate the things. They're worthless.

My JD has taken many of them. He didn't mind them at all; never had a problem with them. He never understood why I was so against them. Until one dept. said one of his answers regarding drug use came back as inconclusive. Not that he lied, not that he was telling the truth, but inconclusive. They wanted nothing more to do with him. He was devastated. Angry and humiliated.

After that, he was pretty gunshy about poly's. They still bug him, even though he's taken several more since then and passes with flying colors.

I hear they're only as good as the examiner. But I don't think they're any good even then.

Don't let it get you too down. There will be other departments. Just be thankful now you know the truth about this department before you got too far in.

5150Wife said...

Oh, and here's one for ya'.

With one dept, they asked JD if he's ever had sexual relations with a minor. Of course, he was completely honest. He said yes. Then he went on to explain that it was with me, I was almost 18 at the time, we'd since been married for 10 years and had 3 children together. The examiner had no problem with it, neither did the department. They ultimately hired JD.

So it just goes to show you, your honesty is not the problem. The department not having a grip on reality is the problem.

TheBronze said...

Like I said, the poly isn't about the truth, it's about passing/failing. It has very little bearing on the former.

The poly is voodoo-science at best.

Kojak said...

Brooklyngal I appreciate it very much.Have a great weekend.

Mrshoppes Thank you first of all for stopping by. I do feel that it is their loss, I know the truth. Have a great week!

Forthepeople Yea bro it's been a little rough, but nothing like your going through. We will be better for it I'm sure. Be Safe and enjoy your weekend.

5150wife I have never trusted them at all. I just feel that they are so subjective. There are reasons for everything. Thank you ! I am glad that at least they had the common sense not to persecute him for being honest. Sometimes I wonder why I love this job so much. Have a super week!

The Bronze So true my brother preach it !!! Hallaluja!!

Big Poppa said...

I think that the polygraph is a joke. It can't be used in court, so how can we as Law Enforcment professionals subject it to our own kind?

I realize that everyone wanting to get into the field isn't on the up and up, and we have to be selective, but can't we think of something else a little more reliable!!

Sorry Kojak - I hope you find another department who doesn't have their heads stuck in the sand!!

Angie said...

I agree with the concensus..if they are going to be that petty, you probably don't want to work there. I know it still stings though. Things will work out how they are supposed to...they always do.